


Where Allegiance Lies

by turnedtechgodhead



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anger, Betrayal, Blow Jobs, Brainwashing, Chronic Pain, Consensual Sex, Depression, Dorks in Love, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Romance, Explicit Sexual Content, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I will add tags as I go, Implied Consent, M/M, Manipulation, Manipulative Relationship, Multi, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Non-Consensual Blow Jobs, Panic Attacks, Past Rape/Non-con, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Episode: Accepting Anxiety, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Reprogramming, Romance, Sex Toys, Sexual Abuse, Smut, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Verbal Abuse, agnst, degrading
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:34:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23739931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turnedtechgodhead/pseuds/turnedtechgodhead
Summary: All Virgil wants is a place to feel accepted and call home. Some are willing to manipulate circumstances to fit a certain narrative to make him sway to their side, and quicker at finding out how to use that to their advantage.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Sleep | Remy Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Sleep | Remy Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton, LAMP - Relationship, LAMPS - Relationship, Sleepxiety - Relationship, Which is LAMP Plus Sleep, calm - Relationship
Comments: 12
Kudos: 67





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please be aware that there is a scene of dubious consent. A scene where yelling happens and physical threat is implied. We're getting right into it, y'all.
> 
> Reminder: Enthusiastic consent is the only consent.  
> Also, if you're struggling or being abused, don't be complicit and please get help. This is not a healthy way to cope or deal with it and hopes it gets better by itself or by others. Sometimes you have to seek help yourself if no one can do it for you. Fight to be heard when safe.

Thunder tore through the room, jerking Virgil awake as he scrambled for the bathroom and slammed the door behind him. He emptied all of that days stomach contents into the toilet, which wasn't really all that much to begin with. His fingers shook as he flushed it away and rested his pounding head on the cool wall beside him. Of all nights for there to be a nightmare, of course it was going to happen on one of the days of the year he gets laid. 

As if on cue there was a knock on the door and Virgil didn't bother answering. The door opened anyways and after stumbling around, the person sat beside him and lazily ran a hand through Virgil's hair. Not a word was spoken as the storm from the other room occasionally lit up the dark bathroom. Virgil knew he couldn't stay there forever and should return to bed so the other can sleep, but he can't seem to find the strength or will to stand up. Not after that nightmare.

“Do you want me to get you some water?” the other whispered. Virgil almost smiled. Almost. It was nice knowing that someone didn't entirely despise your existence. Only when working. Unlike the others, who didn't care about him in work or personal life. It wasn't much of a life and this night would only be one of a handful in the year that he would be shown kindness. Did he deserve it? Yes. Did he believe that? Yes and no. In regards to being treated like the gum under your shoe? Yes, he doesn't know any different. In regards to kindness? No. Don't be absurd. There was a reason he only had a handful of days a year. Virgil liked to call them pity days. And on days like these, there was just extra pity and Virgil doesn't know why he keeps this up. It's going to end like every other good thing that comes to him. Yet, he can't bring himself to let go.

“Nah, I'll be okay. Just go back to bed. I'll be there in a bit.”

“I'll stay here with you until you're ready, I'm not in any hurry.” 

“Remy-”

“Virgil.” Remy gently chided him, making Virgil quiet. Taking orders was one thing Virgil knew how to do well enough, but also not enough. Just to keep in good standing with Remy, he did whatever the facet asked of him, even if he really wanted to say no. It was always in the form of a question instead of a command, but Virgil knew that was just a trick to get Virgil to slip and he had to stay one step ahead. Remy slowly stood up and after a few seconds, Virgil heard the water turn on and a cup start to fill. The water was turned off and there was more noises that Virgil couldn't make sense of until Remy handed him the glass and a few white pills. 

“It'll help with the headaches you'll have in the morning. It's not very cash money of your stomach to do that and then bring you a headache afterwards.” Virgil put the pills in his mouth, washed it down with water, draining it and then setting it on the ground. “Do you want more?” Virgil shook his head and closed his eyes as he felt sleep start to take back over, but his brain immediately brought his awareness back, eyes flying open and his pj pants balling up in his tight fists in his attempt to stave off the threat of sleep. 

“Virgil... honey...” Remy said and put his hands over Virgil's. “Don't fight it off, you'll have pleasant dreams this time, I promise.” Virgil must have been looking at him odd because Remy ran his hands through Virgil's hair again. His eyes and actions said everything would be fine, but Virgil knew better. Remy would have to be awake and aware for Virgil to have good dreams, all good things came with a price. He didn't want Remy to pay just so Virgil could have some comfort while he slept. More often, the nightmares were better than the good dreams. 

“You don't have to Rem, it's already over.” It was well over three in the morning and Remy was normally gone by the time Virgil woke up, so he can only assume that by six, maybe eight at the latest, that Remy is gone. 

“It might come back and that nightmare seemed like a pretty nasty one.” Virgil blinked confusedly and looked over at Remy for the first time since he came in. His hair was all disheveled, his sleep mask that said 'Tea' across the front, sat atop his bed head. It was rare seeing Remy without something over his eyes, but he didn't wear the sunglasses all the time, or the eye mask. Just on nights that it stormed, something about light sensitivity and lightning being no different than any other light.

“Wait but it's still-”

“I know, V, it's okay, I won't die and the storm won't last forever. It never does.” The way Remy was looking at Virgil gave him the impression that the words were about something other than the storm, but Remy always told him that during stormy nights, plus Remy could be pretty mysterious, intentionally or not, so it was always sort of hard to tell. “Why don't I take us back to bed?” Virgil just nodded mutely and Remy lifted him up with ease.

“We need to get more sugar in you, sugar. Maybe it will put some weight on you.” Remy joked as he set the anxious side down in the bed and then got in beside of him, pulling Virgil close to his chest. Virgil didn't say anything more and he didn't have to as Remy hummed a familiar melody. It made Virgil sit up faster than Remy could ever put anyone to sleep. 

“Don't do that. Not that one.”

“I still don't understand why!” Remy whined and sat up, the blankets falling off his shoulders and pooling into his lap. “It pulls up what one loves most and isn't that something everyone wants to dream?”

“No.” Virgil responded resolutely. He rarely said no, but this one thing was something he wouldn't allow. Dreaming was one thing, but dreaming about what you love most? Something he'll never obtain? That's crueler than any nightmare. They weren't even nightmares! They were- well- much more. Plus Remy would SEE it. See what a loser he was for wanting something so undeserving for him,

“Okay, okay.” Remy held up his hands with a sigh then held them out. “Regular dreamland it is.” Virgil set his shoulders he didn't know were tense fall and let Remy pull him into a hug. He started out humming “Once Upon A December” from Anastasia and Virgil's mind was instantly hooked. It wasn't Disney, but it was a movie he loved, and only Remy knew he loved it. Only Remy knew because the others were more likely to insult him with it. Mainly Roman, and he couldn't let that buffoon insult him with his favorite movie. He trusted Remy with a lot of things, like his name. Remy was the only person, besides one other, who knew his name.

Virgil's world grew dark as his eyes slid closed, the melody faded as did his consciousness.

Virgil woke that morning to Remy still sleeping peacefully beside of him. It was nice and it felt so right. Huh, guess Remy wasn't able to stay awake, but at least the nightmares didn't come back. He shot a glance at the clock that read 6am. He sighed and rolled over to face Remy, watching the beautiful sleepy man still sleep away. He cautiously brought his hand up to cup Remy's soft glasses-less face and then trail it up into his soft, chocolaty brown hair. Remy's eyes fluttered open and Virgil deep chocolate eyes stared into Remy's hazel ones. 

“Your eyes are gorgeous.” The words fell out of his mouth before he could stop them and before Virgil had time to panic about it, Remy's lips turned up into a playful smirk. 

“I know.” Virgil pulled the pillow out from behind Remy and dropped it on his face.

“Ass.” Remy removed the pillow with a half whine, half laugh and hit Virgil back with it.

“I have that too. You can have some of that right now if you-” Before Remy could finish his sentence a voice came from the other side of his door. Was... was that Patton?

“Kiddo's breakfast is ready!” Virgil raised his eyebrows at Remy, who was excitedly pulling them out of bed. “I'm making french toast!” 

“We'll be down, Pat.” Remy called as he let go of Virgil in favor of getting dressed. 'We'? Remy paused in the middle of dressing to raise a curious eyebrow at Virgil. “Are you going to go down in your boxers? That doesn't seem like you, sugar cube.” He can't argue with that logic but...

“We? We're going down to breakfast together?” Remy sighed and shoved a bunch of Virgil's clothes into Virgil's arms, like they do this all the time. Because... they do. Don't they? 

“Of course, I always eat breakfast with you guy's. Unless you don't want me there for some reason? I can always go find-” 

“No! Of course I want you there, you're important to me.” After an 'aw baaabe', Virgil changed into his usual outfit and headed downstairs to breakfast with Remy. Virgil awkwardly took a seat while Remy chatted with Logan who was finishing up his first cup of coffee. Remy conjured his own and a refill for Logan, while giving Virgil his favorite: a glass of orange juice. He doesn't know he feels so alive right now, this is like every morning. He always had orange juice, but maybe he just loves it that much. Roman makes his way down with his usual Roman-esk flair before dancing into the kitchen to say good morning to Patton. Logan rolled his eyes, but the fondness in his eyes said something completely different. How had he never seen it before? Maybe he had and this is the first time he's actually noting it.

Roman and Patton came in and set the table with French toast, bacon and a veggie-egg casserole. It all looked delicious and his stomach churned hungrily. It felt like he hadn't eaten anything like this before, not fresh anyway. That's ridiculous, he does this every morning! Everyone chatted happily, Virgil and Roman had a few bouts of friendly banter, one included who could clear their plate the fastest. Roman won and Virgil told him it was because he had the biggest mouth. Roman gasped and the bickering continued and Virgil laughed happily and freely. He felt like he was glowing and felt the happiest he had ever felt. He never wanted it to end.

They all cleared the table and washed up the dishes. It felt so natural that the little bit of unease Virgil felt in his chest was easily ignored. Virgil retired to the couch with his phone and ear buds until he felt the tug of Thomas bringing him to the real world. He stood up and sunk out, appearing in his usual spot on the stairs.

“I had a fight with Joan this morning. I had an idea for the next video but he wasn't so sure about it.” Thomas further explained the situation about how it all escalated and blew up into a full blown argument, leaving Joan to storm off and not answer Thomas's texts. 

“You have to fix this situation immediately, Thomas, if they don't come back you'll lose a best friend and a big part of your channels work. Then what will you do? You'll lose everything and end up on the street. What will your fans think?” Virgil spiraled into highly unlikely scenarios, but they were still possible. Patton gave a small whine and Virgil immediately felt guilty.

“Are we really going to lose everything?” Patton whined and fidgeted with the hoodies sleeves wrapped around his neck.

“Anxiety, Patton, calm down, that is not going to happen. While your concerns are valid, you are blowing things out of proportion.” Logan said then turned to Thomas, adjusting his glasses. “Thomas, Joan is your best friend, you have had fights before correct? You manage to remedy the situation after you both cool down.”

“Yeah! Joan will come around and you'll be the platonic soulmates like you were always meant to be.” Roman added with a confident smile. “For now it may be best to give each other space to breathe.” He looked at Virgil and smiled. “Keep calm and carry on my dark and stormy friend.”

Thomas took a deep breath with Virgil and visibly relaxed. “You're right, thanks guys. I probably wouldn't have been able to calm down without your help.” Virgil was about to sink out but Thomas stopped him, making Virgil confused. “Thank you, Anxiety. You really helped me calm down, you were really amazing.” 

The weird feeling the was growing and something just felt off. Something was telling me something was off. He couldn't exactly really figure out what it was so he almost decided not to bring it up. Almost. “Are you sure you're actually okay, Thomas?” Virgil messed with his frayed edges of his hoodie sleeves and looked at Thomas through his bangs. “No one else feels off?”

Thomas looked confused and the unrest in Virgil grew. “I don't think so. Maybe I'm worried about work, but that's nothing new. Are you okay?” It suddenly clicked. Virgil knew exactly what was wrong. 

“This isn't real.” He choked out. Everyone gave him worried looks which made him anxious. “This isn't right, you all hate me.” He looked at Patton, tears filling his eyes. “You don't invite me to breakfast. I don't remember the last time I ate a meal you made..” He looked at Roman and felt a stab in his chest, almost like a sword had been run through it. “You're never this nice.” He looked at Thomas and Logan and started shaking, trying to hold back sobs. “You don't listen or care what I have to say. I'm THE BAD GUY.” 

“-irgil.” Virgil looked around through the tears that were now flowing freely down his face. Was that-?

“-gil!” The world started to sway and tilt, making Virgil feel slightly nauseous. 

“Virgil!” 

Virgil's eyes shot open and he looked around, noticing he was back in his room and he was laying in a concerned looking Remy's lap. It took a few minutes for his brain to catch up to what was going on, then the terror set in. Remy saw.

“How could you?!” Virgil pushed Remy and stood up on wobbly legs. Remy looked so sad and frantic, his mouth open and his hands up, he was speechless, most likely disgusted with some of Virgil's deepest desires. “Get out.” He said lowly and Remy blinked out of his stupor.

“Virge-”

“GET OUT!” Remy stumbled off the bed and grabbed his sunglasses, looking back to Virgil with hesitation. “Get out and don't come back. I TRUSTED you! I hate you. I. HATE. YOU. GET OUT.” Remy immediately sunk out and it took time to calm himself as his chest heaved from how loud and the force of which he yelled. Once Virgil took in that Remy was actually gone, that he wasn't coming back, that he pushed away the only good thing in his life...Virgil crumbled to the ground and wept. For Remy and for the taste of a life he could never have.

After Virgil collected himself, he flopped back down on the bed and groaned loudly. He laid there for gods knows how long before he looked up and squinted at the bright light filtering through the window. He looked away and at the ground, something black catching his eye. He sat up and reached down from the bed and grabbed the sunglasses. He rolled back on the bed as he looked over the overly generic sunglasses and sighed before slipping them onto his face, staring up at the ceiling. “C'est la vie.” 

–

Virgil cleaned up his room and headed to the bathroom to brush his teeth and tame his hair. He looked in the mirror and winced. His reflection told him of a boy who didn't get enough sleep, or if he did it wasn't restful. He didn't need eye shadow with those dark circles, but that's exactly why he wore it. He didn't even even consider hiding it until He showed him how. Virgil tore his eyes away from the mirror and decided a shower would be best. He need to clear his head and a nice hot shower might make him feel better. He knew that it wouldn't actually make him feel any better, but the internet said it helps, so he will try it as many times it takes for it to work. Didn't Pavlov do the conditioning thing? Or, maybe this was just the result of insanity. Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result every time. 

Virgil turned the shower on and waited for a good temperature, then upping it by 5. The bathroom quickly filled with steam. Virgil stripped and got into the shower, hissing slightly as the hot water hit his skin. He took his time as he lathered up his loofah with his coconut scented, vitamin E infused body wash and began scrubbing his skin until he was red and had a almost raw feeling. Was this removing the effects of the vitamin E? It was supposed to help provide the skin with moisture and keep the skin healthy from any abrasions. Perhaps this really was insanity. He moved over a part on his stomach that had been scrubbed too hard and was overly sensitive. Enough of that. The loofah dropped to his feet and Virgil reached for the shampoo. He wasn't sure what scent it was anymore, the label long since faded. He just knew Roman often complained about it when he was within close proximity. Virgil didn't have anything else so this would have to do till he could attempt to conjure something else. He wasn't all too talented at that.

After washing his hair and rinsing off, he shut off the water and grabbed a towel to dry off with, one for his body and one for his hair. He wrapped one towel around his waist as he stepped out and drying his hair with the other. He brushed through his hair and then put product in his hair to make his hair stay soft and healthy after his hot showers. He took out his make up and wiped off the fogged mirror. His distorted reflection stared back at him and he swore that someone else was standing there instead of him. Ah, wonderful, he was dissociating. Still, he could work through it. He mostly auto-piloted his make up routine and made his way out of the bathroom to get his clothes. 

Virgil was almost finishing dressing, only his shirt and jacket were left when he felt breath against his neck, which made him freeze. Fingers trailed up his sides, to his shoulders and then a kiss was planted on his neck. “Hello, Virgil, darling.” 

“Deceit.” Virgil greeted, voice dead of any emotion he might have returned between the make up and dressing. He just wanted this over with, or maybe he could pretend it was Remy. But Remy was kind, soft and gentle, Deceit was... well anything but. He could be if Virgil did as Deceit wished, and then that was still up in the air.

A harsh tug on his head brought his head back, causing Virgil to drop his shirt in surprise. “Strip and get on the bed.” Deceit commanded and let go of Virgil. The anxious side quickly took his clothes back off and laid on the bed, cheeks red from embarrassment. He should be used to this by now, it would be like any time he could remember through his miserable life. 

“That wasn't very sexy. Very sloppy work, I would give that a one out of ten. Tisk tisk, I know you can do better than that.” Virgil sat up and looked at Deceit through his bangs. 

“I can do it over again.” Deceit glowered at him and Virgil's mind raced at to why. “Oh- ah- sir. I can do it over again, Sir. Please give me a second chance.” 

“You don't sound very sorry.” Deceit said as he walked over to the bed and looked Virgil over. “I don't want to be here any longer than I have to, so you can make it up to me some other way.” Virgil internally groaned and just wished for this to be over. He would do anything to end this now. He wanted Remy, he wanted him so bad that he could cry, but he pushed him away. He wasn't coming back.

“How would you like me to make it up to you, Sir?” 

“I think you know.” Virgil hesitated a split second before getting off the bed and turning so he was facing away from Deceit, putting his hands behind his back. A familiar cold feeling and the sound of cuffs wrapping too tight around his wrist told him that he did the right thing. Perhaps he would be rewarded for good behavior.

“Turn to me and get on your knees.” Virgil complied and Deceit untucked himself from his pants, both of Deceits cocks in his face. How he wished he wouldn't have woken up from his dream. Maybe he can go back. “Open.” Virgil opened his mouth and Deceit put a ring gag, forcing his mouth uncomfortably wide. This is what he gets for accidentally biting that one time a few years ago. A constant reminder of his past mistakes. Tears started to form and Deceit wiped them away and put his hand behind Virgil's head and pushed his head forward, one of Deceits cocks was being pushed as far as Virgil could take him. Virgil choked and squirmed, but a harsh grip in his hair reminded to stay still. Deceit continued to force him all the way to the hilt and held him there, moaning as he did so. “Good boy. You're doing so well.” Tears sprung from Virgil's eyes as he his throat choked around Deceit's cock. Air was starting to run low and as if on time Deceit pulled Virgil off, allowing Virgil suck in as much air as he could. Strings of saliva still connected them and Virgil wanted to throw up, but knew the punishment for that, so he tried to keep it down by sheer will. 

He was thrust back onto Deceits cock, back out for air and repeated until he stopped pulling him all the way out. He pushed Virgil back so his back and head was against his night stand, Deceit shoving into him and moaning words Virgil couldn't quite make out as his head was being slammed repeatedly his nightstand. It was starting to make him dizzy. He looked at his purple curtains and seemed to float away, flying through the air till he sat on the roof and looked out over the the small town Roman made to make things feel more real. The sun felt good against his cold and clammy skin and he soaked it in, he really cold use more sun.

A harsh pull on his hair brought him semi-aware and he could tell by the speed and the grunts that Deceit was close and what that meant. After a few more minutes, gasps of air and one final push deep into the back of Virgil's throat that Deceit came down his throat, not giving Virgil the option of swallowing or not. Virgil choked and tried to swallow around Deceits softening cock still in his throat. Deceit pulled out and tucked himself back in, he looked over Virgil caressed his face before Virgil's vision sudden whitened. His cheek stung like hell and he let out a gasp through the gag. His jaw was starting to get sore, it was too large for his mouth. His wrists also hurt and couldn't move them without stabbing pain.

“I'm busy today, so we'll have to finish out little session later. We have another round or two to go.” He chuckled, like he had told a funny joke and lifted Virgil up, set him on the bed “I don't know why you stay here, no one likes you, no one wants you around. They hate you. Remy could be added to that list after that stunt earlier. If would only come to our side, you would be treated much better. Think about it.” His hand slipped away and Virgil could hear Deceit walk away. Was Deceit going to leave him there like this? He made a noise of protest and struggled. A hand was wrapped tightly around his arm and yanked him, making his aching wrists protest. “Stay here and stay still. I'll come back for you tonight.” Virgil whimpered at the thought of being held hostage in his own room and in constant pain till that night. He couldn't do it. He tried to plead around the gag but it was hard when Virgil couldn't move his jaw, not without possibly dislocating it in the process.

Deceit sighed and tisked. “So needy. I guess you earned it.” The gag was suddenly out of his mouth and a large trail of saliva and cum went with it. It was disgusting, but not the worst thing he had seen since this started. He vaguely remembered the time when it was actually gross and abnormal. It was discarded on the floor and then his wrists were about to be freed but Deceit stopped and let Virgil fall back onto the bed. “Maybe this will give you time to reflect on where your allegiance lies.” Deceit hissed and turned away. “You don't belong here.” He waved his hand and the cuffs vanished, making Virgil immediately look at his bruised and cut wrists. “Go out there and see for yourself if you truly belong here.” Deceit sunk out, leaving Virgil alone with his thoughts.

After dressing and cleaning himself up, brushing his teeth as long and hard as he could, along with mouthwash and floss, he reapplied his messed up make up and brushed his hair out. Once he left the bathroom he noticed it was nearly two. His stomach growled and figured now would be a good time to head to the kitchen and make himself something. Hopefully without running into anyone. 

He pulled his sleeved over his new cuts and bruises from the too tight cuffs and slowly opened his door, peering into the hallway. He didn't see or hear anyone so he slipped quietly out and down the hallway and down the stairs. As he descended he could hear someone laughing and stopped, his blood running cold. Of course they would be hanging out in the living room, probably relaxing after having lunch. He forced his legs forwards as he was reminded there was food just past the living room. He got to the landing and saw Roman, Logan and Patton sitting and chatting on the couch, He seemed to have gone unnoticed so hard and tried his best to move nonchalantly off the landing and towards the kitchen,

“Look who finally decided to show up.” Virgil froze and shoved his hands into his hoodie pockets as Roman addressed him. He looked at them all and then away. 

“Yeah, overslept.” Virgil mumbled and started towards the kitchen.

“Would you like me to make you something, kiddo?” Patton said and that made Virgil mentally pause, but his stride didn't break. It was a trick. If he accepted then the others would laugh at him and think he was incompetent. 

“Nah, I got it.”

“Yeah, big bad old anxiety can take care of himself.” Virgil ignored Roman as he went into the kitchen. He looked through the pantry and noticed everyone had a little sticky note on certain things. He made sure to ignore those, but it made his options very limited. It left peanut butter and crackers. With a heavy sigh, Virgil grabbed a pack of crackers and the jar of peanut butter and set them on the counter. He got out a paper towel, because he didn't want inconvenience anyone with his dirty dishes, and started making his lunch. It was more of a snack, but this portion wasn't exactly uncommon for him. 

“Need any help?” Vigil jumped and turned to see Patton standing hesitantly in the doorway. Great, he was making Patton feel uncomfortable in his own home. Maybe he was right. “Who was right?” Virgil blinked and mentally cursed himself for accidentally speaking out loud. That always got him in trouble. That's what you get when you mainly talk to yourself, though, so it wasn't that surprising. Just something else he needed to fix. “I can make you something...um... better. That can't be very filling!” Patton said cheerfully as he opened up the fridge. 

“No, Patton, I'm fine. Not that hungry.” 

“Don't patronize him Patton, if he wants to eat crackers like a bird, let him.” Roman said from the doorway. Virgil grit his teeth and ignored him. Finishing up his crackers and starting to put the sleeve of crackers and jar of peanut butter back to their proper places. “Are you that emo and lame that you won't speak? Is this some late teenage rebellion? Sorry to tell you, but some of us are now in their twenties.” 

“Roman.” Patton chided. It was awkward having two others watching him munch on crackers in the kitchen. Was he in the way? Was he suppose to go back to his room? He spent so much time in there, it was nice to leave while the sun was still up and he didn't have to walk through a dark house. He stopped mid bite as Patton touched the hand holding his measly lunch. “Oh kiddo, what happened to your arm? You're hurt!” Virgil jerked his arm away in a panic and dropped his cracker in the process.

“Way to go, you made a mess.” Virgil immediately went to clean it but a strong but gentle hand stopped him. Logan. 

“If you need first aid I would be more than happy to assist you.” Virgil yanked his arm away and picked up the cracker and cleaned up the peanut butter. 

“No thanks, already took care of it.” He lied with ease. He didn't have a first aid kit, but he planned to sneak down later and grab some things that he would need.  
“How did your wrist get so beat up anyhow?” Patton asked with concern laced in his voice and Virgil was immediately suspicious. This was a trap. A test to see if he could handle his own. He didn't need coddled! He managed it this far on his own, sure he had to learn things the hard way and do many things alone, but he still did them alone. 

“None of your business.” Virgil snapped and threw the rest of his food into the trash. He suddenly wasn't hungry and wanted to go back to his room. 

“Hey, you may be a villain, Anxiety, but I shall not let you treat Patton with such disrespect.” Roman pulled out his sword and Virgil's fight or flight kicked in. He heard Patton yell and Logan say something but his mind was telling him that there was danger and he needed to run. Run. RUN. He shoved his way though everyone, past Roman and up the stairs. Virgil heard his name being called but didn't stop until he reached his room, slamming the door closed and locking it. He waited but didn't hear any footsteps running after him and smiled bitterly to himself. Of course not. Probably praising Roman for getting rid of the evil villain eating in their kitchen.

Virgil sat on his bed with his head in his hands, but fresh out of tears, most likely the rest of the day. Deceit was right. He didn't belong here. With all that happening, with the undeniable proof, it fueled Virgil's legs to stand. He looked around his room, knowing that this would be the last time he would be seeing this side of the house. It almost hurt. Almost. Deceit just wanted to help him, to make him see. He sees now, it was glaring and obvious. Everything here was lie, he was trying to be something he clearly wasn't. With only one destination in mind, Virgil sunk out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Graphic descriptions of non consensual sex and bruising.
> 
> If you can't tell, I didn't know how to explain the dark sides house and I'm open to suggestions on how to improve it. Unless that was good enough?

When Virgil rose up he was standing in a living room that, well, looked a lot like Thomas's own, but it had much less color. The lights sides walls were a off white color and this room was just bleak and dark, almost grey and there weren't many lights and the many dark shadows made Virgil feel like there were people in them, watching him enter their side of the house and waiting to attack at any given chance. Even if there wasn't happening like that in those dark shadows there was just a overall creepy quality to it. Virgil isn't one to shy away from the dark or creepy things, he actually braces them, so it was strange to describe the house as just creepy. Maybe it just wasn't his creepy aesthetic. All he can explain that it had the air of a haunted house, but it was still full of people and was pretty clean instead of broken down and dusty. Everything else was the same, the couch, TV, bookshelves, even the placements. Maybe the mindscape had things in fixed places to imitate Thomas's world to the best of its ability. Of course there were still differences, the dining room table was in the same spot, but it was longer and had many more chairs. How many even lived here? 

After braving several steps to the kitchen, Virgil peered in only to see a human shadow on the floor. He whipped back around, heart racing, maybe he should go back.

“Who's there? I know someone is, come out before I make you.” Virgil wrapped his arms tightly around himself as he took a deep breath and stepped into the kitchen. He didn't recognize the side, but the way he was being looked at, this side knew him. That wasn't exactly surprising. He sauntered up to Virgil, slinging an arm around his shoulders. “Ah, Anxiety, pleasure. What brings you to this side of the house?” 

Virgil shied away from the touch a bit, but otherwise stayed put. “Um...”

“Finally realized those light sides are stuck up good for nothings? Good, because they are and you don't belong with them. You're so much better, and cuter too.” Virgil laughed nervously and moved out from under the sides arm.

“I don't think so, but thanks, I guess.” The side stared at Virgil for a few awkward minutes before breaking out into a grin and grabbing his wrist, ouch, and pulling him out of the kitchen.

“Perfect! I'm sure the house had made accommodations and made you a new room, lets go find it and check it out.” That was... pretty nice of him. Why did the light sides hate these people?

“Okay. Uh, who are you anyway?” Virgil almost ran into the side as he abruptly stopped in halfway through the living room. 

“I'm the one, the only, the marvelous, Envy, of course! How could you not know that? Everyone knows me.” They started walking again and Virgil noticed there was a corridor to the right of where Patton, and just behind the tv, where Patton and Roman would stand while talking to Thomas. It had many doors on both sides and Virgil wondered if they all belong to other sides. How many other were there? There wasn't an extra corridor in the light sides house, not that he knew of anyway. Maybe some of the other light sides lived outside the house, in the city that Roman made? That might explain where Remy stayed, because as far as he knew, Remy didn't have a room in the house and he for sure wouldn't have one here. 

“Ah ha!” Envy said, making Virgil jump. “Oh, hehe, sorry about that, I found the extra door. I assume its your room and you're the only one who can open it for the first time anyway, so check and see.” Envy explained and gestured towards the door with a hint of displeasure in his features. “It's a pain, but it is what it is. So, are you going to open it or not?” 

“What will happen if it's not my door?”

“It will shock you.” Virgil instantly yanked his hand away from the door handle and Envy barked out an obnoxious laugh. “I'm kidding, hon, it will just remain locked and we'll have to keep looking.”

Virgil nodded and turned the door handle, it clicked and swung open, revealing a dark room. Envy pushed past him, flipping on the light switch and surveying the room. Virgil noted it already had all of his things from his previous room in it, even his bed, which was nice, because he didn't want to have to go back and forth several times. “Well this is boring.” Envy said boredly as he picked up a spider figurine and turned it over in his hands. “You need better interests.” He looked over a bookshelf and saw a little yellow and black snake figurine. “You're already familiar with Deceit I see.” 

Virgil shrugged and fixated on the floor. “Yeah, kinda.” 

“And you're only coming here now? He really took his time.”

“You can't force the natural order, things will eventually fall into place.” Deceits voice csaid from the doorway. Virgil and Envy looked over at him and Deceit walked into the room and up to Virgil, stroking the side of his face with a gloved hand. “And it did. You saw that I was correct in my statements, yes?” 

“Yes, Sir.” Virgil replied, making Envy raise an intrigued eyebrow. 

“They probably won't even notice you're gone and they'll forget about you. It's for the best, you're were being treated so unfairly. I hope you'll feel welcomed here. Of course rent isn't free.”

“What?” 

“A snake has to eat.” He murmured into Virgil's ear and kissed his cheek. “Since I'm the one who created your room and brought everything here, keeping up our fun would be the least you could do.” Dread filled Virgil's body as he realized he wouldn't be getting out of their sessions anymore. “Wait, Envy said the house made room for me.” 

“I never said that.” Envy said as he crossed his arms. “Deceit made room for you, he made this happen. If it wasn't for him making you see that you're supposed to be here, you would have to go back to the other house.” 

“I guess...”

“And...” Envy looked at Deceit. “Since he's staying here, he should be paying rent to everyone who was here before him.”

“You have a boyfriend.”

“I doubt he's going to care, especially if he gets in on the rent payments too.” 

Being called a rent payment made Virgil feel gross and dehumanized, he was still a person, but he guessed it made sense. He was intruding in on their space and since Virgil wasn't that great at conjuring, he would be making everything harder on everyone else. He couldn't say no, could he? He would most likely be sent back upstairs and Virgil wasn't sure he could take another day of that life. Deceit was doing this before, what was a few more people to cover his stay? It wasn't like he could really contribute much else. 

“...Deal. Feel free to pass the word around, it's only fair others know that there will be rent now.” Envy grinned and gave a thumbs up. Virgil had started to block out their conversation as his mind wondered about various things, like how many other sides there were, were they violent, and how much bigger was the house? Why weren't the rooms upstairs? Was there a second floor? How much could he explore in one day? Unfortunately, while his mind wondered he didn't realize he was being spoken to till a slack across his face jarred him enough to come back to reality. He held his cheek and looked at Deceit, who was slipping a glove back on. 

“He's quite spacey.” Envy commented and Deceit hummed in agreement.

“Sorry.” Virgil mumbled and Deceit sent him a look that told him he fucked up. “Sir.”

“Sir's. It's best you just refer to everyone as such.” 

“Yes, Sir.” 

“Wonderful, well, we'll let you settle in and I'll be back to collect this weeks rent.” 

“This week? Aren't rent payments monthly?” 

“He has such as mouth.” Envy said as he walked past Virgil. 

“It does better things than talk, I assure you.” He replied then looked at Virgil. “We work different. Rent is weekly and will most likely be collected by the end of the week.” Six free days a week wasn't bad, at least he would be able to safely leave his room, so Virgil wasn't going to complain. Satisfied with Virgil's lack of protest Deceit left while Envy hesitated at the door. He spun around and walked over to Virgil, roughly grabbing his chin as he pulled the anxious side into a kiss. 

Virgil froze and after a few seconds Envy pulled away and licked his lips. “A little stiff, but with time I'm sure your mouth will get used to mine.” And with that Envy was gone, leaving Virgil frozen in his spot while too many thoughts rushed through his mind. After for what seemed like too long, Virgil unfroze and shut his bedroom door. With a bone deep exhaustion suddenly settling over him, Virgil flopped onto his bed and closed his eyes. He didn't feel like exploring right now and didn't want to make the mistake of not being there when Deceit would be expecting him. It wasn't like he could go to Deceit's room, he didn't know which one of them was his. At least he could leave his room at any time. With that small peace of mind, Virgil drifted off to sleep.

Virgil stirred in his sleep as he felt something tugging on his leg. He instinctively kicked to make the feeling go away, but it came back, making him kick again. After the third time he slowly sat up and blearily opened his eyes, trying to locate the source. Deceit was standing at the end of the bed, one hand resting on his leg. 

“You're awake.” Virgil sighed and flopped back down on the bed in an attempt to collect himself before he could say something wrong. “I'm speaking to you.”

“I'm trying to wake up.” he said and tried to blink the sleepiness out of his eyes. He looked at his clock that read it was a little past midnight. “Why am I awake?” It was mostly spoken to himself and when Deceit spoke, he jumped, completely forgetting he was even there. 

“Your rent is late.” That threw Virgil's mind out of a loop for a few seconds as his eyes scanned the room and was reminded that days events. Right, he moved to this side of the house.

“I thought you were going to come get it.” 

“I would watch your mouth, Virgil.” Before Virgil could apologize, Deceit kept going. “You could have come to find me. I know you're new, but you could have woken up before midnight to pay rent. If you're scheduled to pay rent with me or anyone else, you must be on time, or there will be penalties. No exceptions or excuses. Understood?” 

“Yes, Sir.” 

“Wonderful, now hold still.” Virgil did so as he was Deceit climbed up on the bed and started unbuttoning Virgil's pants. Was he...?

“Wait-”

“Quiet.” Deceit snapped as he successfully unbuttoned them and started to work them over his hips. Virgil stared up at the ceiling in horror as his mind instantly went to Remy. He should have known better to want Remy to be his first and his last, but all good things come to and end. That was just how things were, in his life anyway. He should have known something like this was going to happen, but what could he really do about it? He agreed this by moving here. Sure, not initially, but it was naive of him to expect a free stay. Deceit materialized a small bottle and uncapped it, spreading some of the clear substance over his fingers.

Deceit snapped Virgil's boxers away with his clean hand and Virgil wondered why he didn't do that in the first place. He wasn't new to being exposed to someone, but it was still uncomfortable enough for him to know he doesn't want to be. Not right now. Not with Deceit. “Turn over.” It took every fiber in him to do as he was told as his mind was telling him to run, but within a few seconds he was on his stomach and something cold and wet was pressed against his entrance. “It will only hurt you if you stay so tense, but I have no qualms if that is the path you want to take.” Virgil's hands gripped the pillows as one finger was pushed in and tried to will himself to relax. If it had been Remy, he would have made Virgil feel more at ease and loved. God, he missed Remy. 

Virgil felt a second finger being shoved in and realized he was actually more relaxed, mostly because his body and mind were feeling numb and the one good thing he had in his life was one of the things that made his life bearable. His mind went wondered back to the sleepy trait and how soft he was with Virgil. How when they first started hooking up, Remy was more than accommodating. He was gentle, soft and so much more kind than Virgil believed he was worth. If Virgil's self esteem had been higher, he would have believed that he was worth it. Regardless, he felt good and learned how to make Remy feel better in return. Remy was more than patient with him and it was a blessing when he wasn't yelled at when he didn't do something quite right. Eventually, it stopped becoming educational and more for pleasure. It took a few months with working with, or against, Remy with Thomas's sleep that Virgil finally stopped feeling awkward and shy, going back to their usual bickering when around each other.

There was a vague awareness when another finger as added and started to wonder back to Remy when he his body momentarily tense before his back arched in pleasure, trying to recreate the feeling. His body was a dirty traitor. He was vaguely aware of how hard he was now and can't say for sure when that happened. He had a feeling that the thoughts of Remy helped more than what Deceit was doing, it was easier to stomach. The fingers suddenly left and Virgil shivered at the sudden lack of something. He didn't have to wait long because he heard the cap open again and then Deceits cold hands around his sides and slowly pressing into him. Virgil gritted his teeth as his body tensed back up, making Deceit momentarily halt but push through the protest. He suddenly had the urge to punch Deceit and make a break for it, but if he did so, well, he couldn't imagine what would happen if he were caught and brought back. 

Deceit groaned front above him as he fully sheathed himself inside Virgil. The only reason Virgil was making no noise was because he was biting his lip as hard as he could, the pain but only a temporary distraction to what was being done to him. Deceit started moving and Virgil wished to shove his face into the pillow to smother himself, but he'd most likely only pass out, and Deceit might punish him for such a stunt, he had been threatened in the past about what would happen to him if he were to ever pass out. According to Deceit, it wouldn't be pleasant and Virgil wasn't going to take that as an empty threat. Empty threats were as full of shit as pleasant promises. 

Virgil's body rocked as Deceit suddenly sped up and the grip on his sides tightened. Everything in Virgil felt so removed that he didn't register the cold hands or Deceits dick inside of him anymore. With a few jerky thrusts, Deceit stopped and was panting heavily. Virgil waited till Deceit pulled out of him and left the room without any words that Virgil felt it safe to even move. He tried to will his hands to let go of the pillows, but they wouldn't cooperate. He wasn't sure when he fell into a blissful dreamless sleep, but he was soon woken up again by a persons touch. He imagined it was Remy's hand and that he was going to take him to wherever he lived, in a safe and warm house. Instead he was suddenly made aware of intrusion that made him gasp.

“Oh, you're still loose. Deceit must not have been here too long ago.” Envy. His mind was full of many imaginary scenarios where he was safe and warm in bed with Remy. He couldn't imagine a couch or anything else, not even Remy's bed, they had only been in Virgil's bed. Which wasn't that big of a deal, it only made Virgil more prone to keeping his room clean. Was Remy's place messy? He liked to imagine that it smelled like coffee or tea, like Remy. 

Before Virgil knew it, Envy was off of him and out the door. Virgil's hands were back into the pillows and he sighed as he let go and rolled onto his bed with a wince. He had mild pain in his lower back, which wasn't uncommon, his back always hurt. It just sucked extra when he wanted to sleep. He noticed a dull ache in his sides and sat up, looking at it. When had his shirt come off? More importantly, he hand bruises, even though it looked bad it didn't feel that bad. With a sigh, Virgil stood up and walked over to the bathroom, flipping on the light and started the shower up and immediately set it to the hottest setting instead of wasting time to build it up. The heat felt good on days his back hurt. 

After washing himself and staring blankly at the water bottles, the water started cool down. Virgil shut off the water and grabbed a towel and left the shower. He dried off his body and hair before slipping into his normal clothes and sinking out. He didn't feel like exploring any of the house right now.

He rose up in Thomas's bedroom where Thomas was sitting on his bed with his laptop in front of him, most likely editing a video. Good, that meant Remy wouldn't be coming around tonight, not till near morning after coming back from a concert, when he would convince Thomas sleep for a few hours. Well, that would assume Remy wouldn't go home and just go to sleep himself. Thomas didn't seem to notice him yet, so he kicked the bed and Thomas jumped, looking at Virgil. Virgil smirked and laid across the end of the bed, arms behind his head. “Sup.”

Of course, he was just ignored but noticed Thomas's heart rate start to slow down, occasionally kicking it up at random times when he felt like Thomas might not get it done fast enough. Around 5am, Virgil noticed no signs of Remy, even as Thomas yawned and his eyelids got heavy. It was a possibility that the sleepy trait was working remotely to avoid Virgil and while that stung, he couldn't blame him. Virgil felt his own eyes droop as exhaustion hit him like a bat to the face. He tried to fight it off as he would rather sleep in his own bed, but seeing how it was most likely soiled, he would have to snatch one of Thomas's spare ones when he woke up. The night hadn't even been that bad, if all the times were spent that numb, Virgil could handle it no problem. 

It seemed nothing ever wanted him to get rest because he felt something touch his side, making him instinctively flinch. He swatted the hand away and continued to sleep, but hushed voices made his brain wake up. It woke up even more when he heard his name. He slowly opened his eyes to a bright room that hurt his eyes at first. As they adjusted he could see... Thomas and Remy talking? Virgil rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, getting the attention of the two and the talking stopped. Of fuck he slept all night in Thomas's room, how was going to take sheets now? 

A cool breeze went over Virgil's stomach and went to pull his shirt down before stopping, realizing the bruises he received that night. He quickly sat up and hissed as the pain from the bruises hit him full force. 

“Anxiety, how did-” Remy started but Virgil quickly sunk out before he could finish the question. He rose back up in his room and looked around, making sure no one else in the room and lifted his shirt to see many more bruises, deep bruises, that he didn't notice last night. He cursed under his breath and ran his hands though his hair in worry. He was quickly spiraling and tried to breathe through it, but it wasn't working, his mind was running with too many scenarios and what Thomas and Remy may be thinking of him right now. Did Remy know he left the light sides house? There was also no way he could have explained the bruises without lying to Remy's face and Remy somehow always knew when Virgil was lying. Sure, he wasn't the best liar, but he didn't think that he was that bad. 

He couldn't risk it though, not with Thomas there. It was fine though, he deserved those bruises. Rent payment, it was only for rent. He could have even received worse wounds from one of the light sides like Roman. The image of Roman threatening him with a sword on several occasions flew though Virgil's mind that he sit on his bed because his back started hurting again. Most likely stress. He sighed and thought about getting up and getting something to eat, that might calm down his nerves. With a deep breath, he slowly sat up and his sides protested every move. Once up he glanced at the clock that told him that it was 1:42pm. Past breakfast and now into lunch territory, though no matter what time it was, cereal was an any time food. Virgil made his way to the door, eager to get food since he didn't exactly eat at all yesterday. Food would help and decent food would help even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully Virgil can finally get some of good fucking food, our boy needs some nourishment. 
> 
> Also, I'm a slut for Sleepxiety. If that wasn't already obvious. A gentle, loving and patient Remy? Sign me up.


End file.
